Even though so much in our lives seems unjust and we would rather a smoother ride I am a great believer that things happen for a reason. In difficult times there always seems to be a lesson that if noticed a positive can surface.
Last week I had a very challenging evening that bought me to my knees and sent me looking for somewhere to rest for a while. I felt completely defeated and grief stricken. I was grieving the loss of a special dream. Sometimes we can be looking forward to something special and it can fall apart. No matter what we try our dreams can shatter before us and leave us wondering what to do with the disappointment. We can experience grief and loss through many different circumstances. We may find ourselves without a loved one through death or separation, without a job or future purpose, without a place to stay, moving long distance, and aging or through abuse.
My little dream had dissolved before my eyes and for the first time in a very long while my past grief came rushing in. One can crumble under this kind of sorrow so I turned to my PC for someone to chat to. Someone who could relate and sympathize to something I felt. I found myself in a forum for the bereaving. Today I am well however mingling with others freshly touched by a death of a loved one has bought me to a place I found myself about a year ago, wanting to help ease the pain and give hope. Here I am 5 years on after the death of my husband and I can see and feel that silver lining.
When I see others suffering the way I used to I feel compelled to give some sort of reassurance. I know that pain and how difficult it was to move through it. I thought about the book I abandoned months ago due to the difficulty of writing it and the busyness of life. Do you think God placed me back there for that one night to put me on track? I know my book would help others tremendously. I wish I had had something like that to give me hope at that devastating time. Maybe it is time to take a look at my priorities.